The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
