You're my little dorito
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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