My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize