I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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