You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
