Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
They took my balls.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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