I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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