she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize