He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
