yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
