I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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