we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
