she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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