Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
