I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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