physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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