Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
