so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize