I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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