How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
