I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize