Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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