i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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