so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
