Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We had sex on a dog bed..
this is an emotional support booty call
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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