I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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