I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
