Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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