i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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