God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
