Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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