i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
