so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
