The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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