Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
