Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
In America we eat man semen.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
