I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize