I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
too bad you live with your parents still
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
