she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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