every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
