My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
