I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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