Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize