just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
