The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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