wakey wakey hands off snakey
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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