I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
