At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
pop tarts are not kleenex
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
