Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
