omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
