i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize