i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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