the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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