I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
