it wasn't lemon gatorade
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
