hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
