I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
